Wednesday, June 29, 2005

When the world falls down around you, you get to rebuild it.

I remember so vividly when I started thinking. I am forever ashamed that it took me so long, I was 23. It started with the trip to Burning Man. I was so sad that I found there what I thought should be found in the church. I have never felt so accepted, so loved, so...at peace. I had nothing and no one to fear but the sun and dust. So I came home from the desert and started school (final semester at the Bible College) and a week later watched in real time as the second plane came into view; holding my breath with the rest of the world as we slowly realized what was actually happening, that this plane was going to hit as well, that this was not an accident.
As (luck?) would have it, I had a great professor for New Testament Seminar. So, right when my personal doctrine completely fell apart, here I was in a class where we were presented with more than one way of looking at scripture. It was here that I first realized that a rejection of the Dobson/Robertson doctrine I grew up on was not a rejection of Christianity or, more importantly, of Christ. I can't believe that I really didn't know that and that all this time, I believed I was thinking for myself. At this point, I razed what had been built for me and started building something of my own from the ground up.
All this is also to say that I have only really been a thinking person for about four years now, so you'll forgive me if I haven't followed some thoughts through to their conclusions. As here (see the comments), one might think I'm a pacifist but I'm really not. I think the peaceful solution should always be thoughtfully considered; that violence only and always begets violence. I choose to live peacefully when I can but I know life doesn't always allow for that. For more on this idea of "wow, I don't have to believe what they told me" Look at Disambiguation, he has a great post about inerrancy.

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