Tuesday, December 12, 2006


#1 on Google search for "the hoosgow"!
I'd like to thank the justice system and Charlie, without either of them I never could have created such a worthy post. Oh, and thanks to Cat for making the brownies.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Wednesday, November 08, 2006


Are you sure? Huh. So this is what it feels like to vote with the majority. Or to finally get the majority to vote with you!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Granny Panties

They don't make little girls any sweeter than my Vegas. Just this morning as I was getting dressed after a shower, she said the sweetest thing. She said, "I like your BIG underwear, Mommy." Yeah, she's sweet.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Get Saved! or Satan Will Kill Your Cat

In honor of Halloween, I reach into my bag of crazy Pentacostal shit and give you...TRACTS.
(these are all found at chick.com, each one is linked to the full version)

Here's one recommended for the younger children who come to your door for candy

Oh, yes, those children are going to sacrifice her poor little kitty for a spell (on Halloween, of course) C'mon, people, someone had to put a stop to those satan-loving, ritualistic murderers code-named "first graders"

And here's a classic I actually remember from when I was young

Here's one about Islam, did you know that God doesn't love you until you are "born again"?
Oh, and this one is "redrawn for black readers"

But God doesn't only hate muslims...

When Jt and I couldn't remember what JCC stood for, he came up with "Jewish Central Command" NOT SO FUNNY ANYMORE!!

Catholicism's pact with the devil, REVEALED! This one's called "Death Cookie"

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Here's Your F*cking X-Mas Card

These are hilarious! O Plus D makes me want to send out Christmas cards this year. They've got cards for all occasions.

Monday, October 23, 2006

18 People With My Name

LogoThere are:
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Thursday, October 19, 2006

And On A Lighter Note...

These may not have you "rotfl" or even "lol" but they're funny...
Try and guess what these mean and then find the answers HERE


They did leave out byh (translation in the comments!)

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Cuz I Eats Me Spinach

This was the photo next to the Google news headline about the E Coli outbreak:

Monday, September 18, 2006


Finally got around to posting these, my apologies if you actually read this blog, the girls' blog AND MySpace! Most of these photos are from a hike to the top of Diamond Head or what I like to call, "How to kill a pasty, fat midwesterner." The rest of the week we did NOTHING!! We walked around a lot and watched the surfers, and laid around the pool or hotel room. We watched lots of reruns of Law and Order and Judging Amy and of course, saw the Daily Show every night. Cable TV: A vacation in itself.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Take your Xanax before you read this

This made me so sick. Literally. I think it's called a body memory. Having experienced things similar to those on this website, I can tell you with certainty, this is not about God. Even if one argues that it is indeed the Holy Spirit pinning a young girl to the floor (and really, what kind of theology allows for that?), children should not be subjected to this. It is too much, too big, too heavy for any child. I am a Christian and I believe God still acts directly and indirectly upon us. Just not like this. And not with children. There is NO biblical precedent here. At best, this is manipulation of young hearts. At worst, it's calling evil spirits down upon the most innocent among us. Visit "Kids in Ministry International" Warning: the photos are disturbing.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Pictures of Things

This is cool. A link I think is cool but am mostly posting for Pat.


Click photo for link

Friday, August 25, 2006

This One's For You, Jt

The Stuff of Nightmares and Horror Flicks

Giant nests perplex experts
By Garry Mitchell
The Associated Press

Yellowjackets (*shudder*)

"In previous years, a yellow jacket nest was no larger than a basketball, Ray said. It would contain about 3,000 workers and one queen. These gigantic nests may have as many as 100,000 workers and multiple queens."

"We're not really sure how this multiple queen thing works," Ray said. "It could be that the daughters of the original queen don't leave the nest or that the queens have developed some way to cooperate."

Sounds like Darwin's theory at work.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Don't Let Satan Get You in Your Sleep

I have no doubt my parents would have put us in these back in the day (of crazed pentacostalism). But hey, you can never be too careful when the Devil's on the prowl!
Blatently stolen from Pope Hat
Click photo for pj site

Monday, August 14, 2006

Birthday Ink @ New Breed in Indy

This weekend, we finally did our "Sabin Girls Weekend" sans the two Cali Sabins. It happened to fall on my birthday and we had a blast. I had been hoping to get a tattoo while on our trip and by time we walked into the shop two more cousins and three more aunts had decided to get done as well! We ended up at New Breed on Keystone and I'm glad we did. I'd make the drive again for this artist. The rest of the trip was fantastic but aside from the ink we had a "What happens in Indy, stays in Indy" policy!

Friday, August 11, 2006

Grey Bashing

So, what exactly does a squirrel's attack position look like?

Some highlights from:
A squirrel gone wild (click for full article)

Osborne smacked it with a shoe, but that only seemed to anger the animal. "It started getting in attack position toward me," he said. So he grabbed the birthday-cake box and caught the squirrel in midflight.

But before Klute stomped him, the tough squirrel had already survived a police pepper-spraying, Osborne's bucket detention - - and Fern Ochakoff's purse.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006


Perhaps you're familiar with Rolie Polie Olie? Cute enough, not as annoying as Caillou. We picked up a DVD at the library this week which had a new character. A baby. Named Cootchie.

E:"Mommy, do you like Cootchie?"

M:"I sure do."

E:"Does Daddy like Cootchie?"

M:"I don't know, you'll have to ask him."

E:"Daddy, do you like Cootchie?"

D:(face red from the silent laughing)"Yes, honey, I do."

Thursday, July 27, 2006

WWJD with $2.5 Million?

The "Statue of Liberation"
A Memphis church that claims a membership of 12,000 will unveil a 72-foot-tall statue during Fourth of July services.

Which do you prefer? Our very own "Touchdown Jesus" or this fine use of $2.5 MILLION?

Here's another one. Looks like a joke but certain members of my family would wear it with pride.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Especially for K

'Cause I know how you like The Big Lebowski and the F word. But really, who doesn't?
The fucking short version of The Big Lebowski

Friday, July 21, 2006

Call Me a Lemming

Oh My God, Y'all
I love MySpace.
I can't stop.
It's like crack...or flavor-ice, pick your poison
I'm talking to people...people I know but NEVER talk to...like family members! I've even found some old friends. It's really easy to search for people you know.
If Jedd calls you this week, it's likely to be about an intervention.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Paranoia Strikes Deep in the Heartland

"Strangers are strangers whether online or in the real world"
It's something I read in an article about internet safety. It was written as a reminder to your kids that, when online, they are talking to strangers. It made me think, though, that we encounter strangers with our kids everyday...well, everyday we can get out of the house anyway! We don't think that someone we see at the grocery store or library might obsess about our children or follow us home...because we can't live that way and really, it would be ridiculous. For me, encountering people in the real world is harder because my pedophile radar is set so high. I see people around who I am relatively certain are pedophiles. But I don't leave my kids alone with anyone I don't trust. For us, that means leaving them with, well, almost no one.
My concern over who is looking at my children online is really low. You might find this odd if you know what a paranoid freak I am in "real life."
I have some friends who have recently become more concerned about who is looking at their kids. For them, and for me, what do the rest of you think?

Thursday, July 13, 2006


Hey there, thought I should do a little updating on the state of brain around here. I AM NOT BIPOLAR. At least not right now...just kidding; the lame BP jokes just never end. When the Lamictal made me flippy (did I mention midnight hallucinations of a patronus in the backyard?) We went to Zoloft. It took four weeks but damn, I mean DAMN this stuff is amazing. I don't know if I've ever felt so normal. I had to switch to taking it at night though because I was completely exhausted during the day and then couldn't sleep at night. Of course, nobody's getting much sleep lately because the little one is waking up. The other night, we had moved Elliet into our bed so we could let Kenai yell and I finally rolled over to Jedd and said, "Can't we just put her in the car?" A good ten minutes later he got up and was rummaging around. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he said, "I'm looking for my clothes, you told me to put the baby in the car!" He was serious. That, my friends, is sleep deprivation.

A few other thoughts lately...I've developed a mild obsession with Scientology. It started with this story that the Haggis linked. None of it seemed like it could possibly be real until I started looking around. If you read the story and then read Scientology's own site...the language and beliefs and all are the same. I even found this great picture of the "e-meter"

Yes, that is John Travolta.

I looked up local centers through Scientology's locator and one center happened to be between my house and Isabelle's, where I happen to go three times a week.
So, of course, I drove by. Normal house, normal neighborhood. What's that about? Anyway, I feel like I've exhausted my study of this particular cult. I really didn't realize how big and dangerous it was until I read this stuff. Makes me want to vandalize the Dianetics booth in the local mall.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Exit Toddler. Enter PreSchooler.

I have posted something for Elliet's third birthday over on the kids' site. I wanted to post it here as well but it seems too weird...I'm still trying to figure that out, how can I post about my kids over here without repeating myself. So, read it if you'd like or maybe just if you would have read it had I posted it here!

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Wal-Mart is America(?)

I finally got around to reading this article that Brad linked about Wal-Mart selling organic food at low prices. Part of me is thrilled at the prospect of being able to feed my family better food. However, my excitement is tempered by the outcome described in the article. It's not unlike the feeling I have when I leave Wal-Mart with bags full of crazy-cheap goods. An avid bargain junky, I'm excited by the deals I got but I have that nagging guilt that I've contributed to something that is hurting society.
I justify my shopping there by insisting that it won't make a bit of difference if I do or don't support Wal-Mart. It is the capitalist machine, it's how America works and all we can really do is try and fight the inevitable troubles as they come.
Once organic is mainstreamed, Wal-Mart won't be the only market for it, as the article seems to suggest. There will suddenly be competition and competition means growth in these parts. Organic farms will have to increase production but so will other major chains have to provide the lower priced organics. The demand will grow and so will the farms.
Unfortunatly, the little guy could get trampled by the bigger companies being able to produce more. I recognize this but I'm not sure there's much to be done...it's the way things work here. I don't know what the answer is but it seems a little too easy to get mad at the big guys for it. They all started somewhere and succeeded by finding ways to give people what they want. If they do it unethically or even illegally, we call them out. It's been done before and Wal-Mart was forced to clean up their image as an employer.
How else can we respond?
Read the article, I'm really interested in what others have to say about this.

Monday, June 19, 2006

When's the Next Bus?!

The current view from our front porch.

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Crazy Stroller Lady

Just your typical neighborhood bag lady. She talks to herself while looking for things to push around in her stroller. Pictured here, she has collected the Leap Frog fridge magnets, the spray bottle, her beloved turtle and, buried beneath the rest...mommy's Zoloft.
This is what we get for naming them after cities.

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Thursday, June 15, 2006

How Obvious Is It?

You'll have to forgive me, I haven't seen The Daily Show, except for snippets on you tube, in like two years. I've started taking Isabelle home three nights a week and waiting there until her mom gets home. They have satellite. I love my job.
So, that's why you're getting the second Daily Show post this month. I can't help it.
This is the segment from Tuesday night with Ken Mehlman, chairman of the Republican National Committee. The whole thing is amusing but when Jon asks him why they're so secretive, Ken just undoes his own pants to make the whole thing easier:

Ken: "There are things that every president, every administration, has this. Last one did, this one does. There are things when they have internal meetings that if everything is, 'Let's tell you what we met about,' then there's not gonna be serious internal discussion because people will think it'll be in the newspaper..."
Jon: "Right. It'd be like, like uh, OPEN GOVERNMENT!"

Stars and Stripes Forever...

...or else

Did you know that today is Flag Day? Yeah, me neither. Apparently, the senate is actually ridiculously close to passing the ban on flag-burning. Wha..?? You heard right, this is America where you have the right to speak out...unless it offends someone else. Really, what is the point of this ban? Are they starting with the little rights so they can sneak up to the bigger ones? I just don't get it, aren't there more important things to do?
Article at Donklephant (borrowed from Star Spangled Haggis...I swear I'm trying to cut down on the links I steal from you)

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Jon Stewart, Master of The Stealth Depantsing

Bill Bennett on The Daily Show
A great example of Jon Stewart's ability to pull down someone's pants and still seem dignified and respectful

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

The Truth is Out There

My name is Sarah and I am an X-Files addict. I have been a fan since the very first episode aired during my junior year in high school...13 years ago. Having finished the Six Feet Under series (surprisingly good finale, I thought) I have moved on to The X-Files. It's been a really long time since I've seen these early episodes and I can't get enough. They have such a formulaic spookiness that it's funny. It's also great to watch the Dana Scully character develop, even over the first few episodes.
I know I'm revealing more geek than anyone wants to see but I will not apologize! I love aliens and all things related. Those of you who know the alien encounter story involving one of my college roomates might think that's where this obsession started, but no, it was long before that! I couldn't honestly say where it all began but when I was fourteen, I looked out my bedroom window one night and the horizon was glowing green. It was similar to the glow from a tv but all across the horizon where the field behind us turned into forest. I've always wondered what that could have been...maybe that's when it started.
Now that you know that about me, maybe you can understand my fascination with this story out of India:

Mysterious red cells might be aliens
(Click title for full Popular Science article on CNN.com)
By Jebediah Reed Popular Science

Friday, June 2, 2006
PopSci.com) -- As bizarre as it may seem, the sample jars brimming with cloudy, reddish rainwater in Godfrey Louis's laboratory in southern India may hold, well, aliens.
In April, Louis, a solid-state physicist at Mahatma Gandhi University, published a paper in the prestigious peer-reviewed journal Astrophysics and Space Science in which he hypothesizes that the samples -- water taken from the mysterious blood-colored showers that fell sporadically across Louis's home state of Kerala in the summer of 2001 -- contain microbes from outer space.
Specifically, Louis has isolated strange, thick-walled, red-tinted cell-like structures about 10 microns in size. Stranger still, dozens of his experiments suggest that the particles may lack DNA yet still reproduce plentifully, even in water superheated to nearly 600 degrees Fahrenheit . (The known upper limit for life in water is about 250 degrees Fahrenheit .)

Monday, June 05, 2006

Saturday, May 27, 2006

If you enjoyed the pumpkin suicide...

...you'll love this. The lego suicides, it's really funny. Found it at zipped.org (also where I found the movie quiz).

Friday, May 26, 2006


I think you all will like this quiz...let me know what you score.
Fun Movie Quiz

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Issue # 8,047

Have you ever had one of those dreams that are so real you can feel them the next day? Like when someone does something to you in a dream and you feel mad at them even after you're awake? The other night, I dreamt that Jedd was having an affair with an older woman from his job. He was such an ass about it too. When I said she was old, he sneered, "She doesn't look old." Bleh, vomit. The worst part was that I was staying with him. It's really strange when you feel something very real in a dream that you've never felt in real life. In the dream I was afraid he would go be with her if I left him, he didn't really love me but I was staying with him anyway. I know there are those women but I'd really like to believe I'm not one of them. I woke from the dream feeling so defeated. It's strange, I would expect to carry the feelings of pain and anger and betrayal but what I felt was trampled over and weak. Which is why if he ever really cheated I would have to leave.
We'd been joking about the dream all day yesterday. Then his best friend called and told him he had a dream in which Jedd told him he was having an affair with someone at work. Now, maybe I've been watching too much Medium, but that's just weird. I already have gigantic trust issues anyway. It's always in the back of my mind that one day I'll find out that Jedd isn't even remotely similar to the person I think he is. He is really some mysoginist, a womanizer whose life revolves around the lie he's created with me and our entire life together has been a game for him. Which really is crazy if you know Jedd! Except that he really does like to lie...and he has said that if I ever leave I have to take the kids...hmm...

Friday, May 12, 2006

Won't be needing Maury for this one!

No doubt she belongs to Jedd. This morning she sat down for breakfast...
Her Mama: Here's your banana AND I got these yummy cinnamon rolls last night!
(She eats the icing off the top, hands it back to me)
Her: I want bologna. Not a bologna samwich, just bologna, just two bolognies.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Oh, the Shame

Her: What was that?
Her Mama: Oh! Mommy has gas, I should say excuse me!
Her: Say excuse me!
Her Mama: Excuse me.
Her: You got gaass in your buutt.
(How do you spell a drawl?)

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Our house, in the middle of our street

This is it...the house. You know what I mean, you have yours...somewhere out there, that house that is supposed to be yours in that neighborhood you're supposed to live in. And now mine is for sale *sigh*

Thursday, May 04, 2006

I'm so dizzy, my head is spinnin' Like a whirlpool it never ends...

...and it's you, Lamictal, makin' me spin
Okay, I know that was totally lame. I was on Lamictal (a mood stabilizer) for ten days. By the eighth day the side effects were unbearable. I thought that if I knew they would go away I could power through it but the psych said that he was concerned about the mood related side effects. So now I'm day 3 off of it and still dizzy, nauseous, irritable and weepy. At least I'm not seeing things anymore...
One of the hardest things about being any kind of sick is when you have to rely on the people around you. You start to wonder where the breaking point will be for them...you wonder what they might be saying when you're not around. What if Jt gets tired of me...what if my friends are only being nice because they feel obligated. The hardest thing I've done in all of this was to tell the girls I'm really close to. I knew some of them would be amazing and supportive but in a group of ninish people, there are going to be those who don't really believe there's illness involved and you just need more faith. There has been a little of that but I was prepared for it. Mostly I was just tired of feeling like I was hiding something really big from the people I am closest with. You tell yourself over and over, "It's not me it's the illness" or in the case of this past weekend, "This is not me, this is the medicine" But what if it never gets better. What if they don't find the right medications.
I thought that since I had a good diagnosis, it meant things would get better. I guess I was dreaming, thinking that I could just take a mood stabilizer instead of my usual SSRIs and yummy Klonipins and... problem solved. I failed to realize how very different these kinds of medications are. Sometimes it creeps me out and I want it out of my brain and of course I start to think that the illness itself isn't all that bad. It's rapid cycling and my depressions haven't lasted more than two days. Hypo-mania can be nice, I get to be super-mom for a week or so. The house is spotless, I don't need much sleep and I have the energy to spend lots of quality time with the offspring. Okay, so it seems nice but remember the first season of Desperate Housewives when Lynette was taking ADD meds? Yeah, that's why it's not so good.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Death of an Uncle-Part 3 (Alternate Title: 'It's a FUNERAL you dumbfuck')

We had the funeral for my uncle on Saturday. It was sad, it was really hard to see his kids and brothers and sisters...my dad, all grieving. I felt an overwhelming desire to talk to my uncle and did. I needed to tell him that everything is okay now...I've forgiven him and I love him.
Until he died, he had to hold on to his excuses because he couldn't live with himself if he didn't. He can't hold on to those anymore and I know that he stood (or will stand) before God and saw his sins for what they were and that responsibility for his actions was laid on him. But I also know that those sins were then removed. It's such an amazing concept, those things are no longer a part of him, he is no longer a culmination of his actions, his goods and bads. Now he just gets to be Bob, the one God sees and loves. Which means that now he is just Uncle Bob. I feel closer to him now than I ever have in my life. Weird, huh?
At the service I was grieving for my family but I had so much peace and joy about him and where he is and who he is now. I cannot describe to you the healing this has brought me. What's amazing is realizing that when Christ died it wasn't just a means for us to be saved...it was to bring us healing, it's encompassing. Bob being redeemed through Jesus Christ has brought me healing and I know that's what God intended.
I have never in my life felt the way I have in the past couple months, maybe even just weeks. I feel like, for the first time, I actually know God. And I trust Him...that's the real kicker. It was only last fall that I thought I would NEVER really trust Him.

So, how was the funeral? I usually just tell people, "Well, I was hungover when I did nursery the next day..." which is true. The service itself was a real disappointment. My dad was supposed to sing the Keith Green version of The 23rd Psalm (download it, it's beautiful) which he also sang at his mother's funeral more than 20 years ago. He couldn't find the music for it so I was disappointed. He is a rich tenor, perfect for the song, and I don't hear him sing that often anymore. The other problem was the guy that officiated. He was one of Bob's ministers from Franklin Vineyard. He delivered the most canned funeral message, full of stories from his own life and very little about Bob. At one point, he even told a joke about his age and then looked around the room, "No one's laughing." That was part of the joke but I'm thinking, "IT'S A FUNERAL YOU DUMB FUCK!!"
And that's it, in a nutshell, a lame service, but my uncle (mom's brother) did a great graveside talk when my dad couldn't do it at the last minute. And I got really drunk in my parents' backyard with my aunt's family and laughed so hard my face hurt.

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Death of an Uncle-Part 2

Well, I'm feeling a little different now...no big surprise since my current diagnosis is bipolar II...plenty of lame jokes to follow, I'm sure.
Last night, I let myself think of fond memories of my uncle. There were times that were good and while they were tainted by his sins, there was good there. I have begun to seperate the good from the bad again, like we did in those days.
In the daylight, when we were stable, we were just kids, and we had so much fun. I remember how he gave us pizza money while we were up on the roof. And took us to the haunted trail, which was so lame, but still, my first haunted anything. I remember when I got my kitten from his neighbor and he thought of her name, October, Tobi for short, because it was the tenth month and she was black and orange...she still lives at my parents' house. I remember when he still worked at Builder's Square and he brought home Pete, the tiny (really tiny) chameleon that had hitched a ride on one of their tropicals.
So, while the bad memories are still there...his death has given me the freedom to forgive him completely and stop blaming him for every bad thing that his children have gone through. Even though his crimes against me were relatively minor, he hurt someone I love and sometimes that's harder to forgive. I've had nightmares in the last year of her as a smaller child, and he was coming to get her and I was holding her and trying so desperatly to keep her safe but I knew he would get us anyway. I demonized him under the guise of protecting my children when in reality he just made an obvious vessel for all my monsters.
I believe I was right to be cautious with my children but I loved my uncle and I kind of wish I could have told him.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Now THAT's Funny

I could not come up with any clever, biting remarks about the new press secretary, so here's some heresay from Popehat:
I think my favorite line about Tony Snow becoming the new White House Press Secretary is "Do you think he gets back pay?" I wish I remember where I read it.. I think Tom Tomorrow...

Death of an Uncle

So, my uncle passed away this morning. Such mixed emotions. I'm glad he's gone, partly because he was suffering and I know he's in heaven...and if he can be redeemed, we all can. I think I'm mostly just relieved that I don't have to worry about him anymore. He doesn't have to be a part of our lives. No more decisions about taking the girls to family gatherings, no more long discussions before we go on what to do if...(if he wants to pick up the girls etc) No more feeling like we're the only ones there keeping an eye on him around so many children.
I'm also glad that he's probably facing God...at least at some point here, and God's gonna say, "You hurt my children" and Bob can't hide from that anymore. And then maybe God will smack the shit out of him like I asked. We'll see.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Moving Forward and Looking Back

To start a little further back, I think I had some depression as a "tween". I remember my friend, Jessica coming over one day and when she got close enough to see me clearly, she was horrified. "Oh my god, I thought your hair was wet when I first walked in...when was the last time you washed your hair?!" Yeah, it had been a few days and it hadn't even occurred to me until then. I was too busy watching Stand By Me over and over and eating nothing but saltines and instant, flavored coffee. The funny thing is, I know my mom was in the kitchen when Jessi-kaka (my pet name for her) pointed out the obvious...but my mom had not said a peep about how strange I was acting.
Throughout my life, I've wondered what was "wrong" with me. When I look back on it now, I'm prone to wonder what was wrong with my parents. There were classic indicators of (sexual) abuse when I was a small child that continued into adolescence. I wonder, did they really believe that I was just "off" or something? I've learned that my mother can convince herself of anything and will not be swayed once she has...yes, they are "Justice Sunday" republicans!

Monday, April 24, 2006

They're furry!

These tulips are from our backyard, in fact, they are a good 40% of why I wanted to buy this house. Here's a tip for you, it's a good one: Do not impulse buy a house
Still these tulips may be worth it.

Do you sometimes wish people knew?

I came here to blog nearly a year ago. I thought it would be a place where I could feel free to talk about whatever I felt, you know, the things you can't tell just anyone but somehow, here, you can tell everyone. Instead, I started blogging as a way of communicating with a few people who I didn't know well but needed to know better. That's been a great benefit of blogging... unfortunatly, it also caused me to guard my posts and I don't want to do that because I feel like I need this release. So, inspired by Dooce and Haggis, two women who are open about their struggles with two very different illnesses, my own struggles will become a part of this place. If you are uncomfortable, please don't stick around. If I know you and this will affect our already weird relationship... please don't stay here. I value the friendships we've built here.

So, here is my first post about my "emotional struggles"
As evidenced in the above photo, things have gotten worse. I haven't done anything like this for ten years, I haven't felt like this in as long. I feel so embarassed to be doing something I associate with my high school self. It'd be like having a BFF to play MASH with and being totally serious about it!
I think my struggles with depression started at a pretty young age, of course nobody recognized it as such and so I became the crazy one in the family. In a lot of ways, I think I became a sort of scapegoat as well. If I'm fighting with my dad, it's because I am lazy and have a bad attitude not because he's controlling and has an explosive temper and an innate mistrust of anything female thanks to being raised by an alcoholic mother and schizophrenic grandmother. So I did not receive any kind of counseling until I was 17 and *wouldn't* stop cutting myself (because I was so rebellious). I was sent to counseling when my parents *threatened* to get me counseling and I said okay, please. The counselor I saw was so ineffective, we never talked about anything beyond how I was feeling at the time. I think we had ten sessions, ending when I realized why I was self-harming. It was a major breakthrough, although the counselor didn't even realize it. I saw her a year later at a church thing and she introduced me to the famous guest speaker she was chatting with as a former client...nice, huh?
I think that's as far as I will go for now...I do plan to lay out my whole history here, partly because I need to do that to help get an accurate diagnosis for once. In the meantime, I've scheduled a thorough physical for Thursday and I'm seeing my psychiatrist next Tuesday. That's on top of the counselor I see every Saturday.
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Friday, April 14, 2006

Thursday, April 06, 2006


This is fun. Click here to see mine and then do your own!
Update: The link to my daughters' blog is now called "My Bitchez"

Friday, March 31, 2006

4 Things (You're Dying to Know About Me)

Got this as an email...I love these, as much as I love tv and food and all lists. I am tagging everyone who reads this...all four of you. You know who you are.

Four jobs I have had in my life:
BP (gas station)
Barista (coffee)
Day Care
Krohn Conservatory (odd jobs)
Four movies I would watch over and over:
Blade (closely tied with Underworld)
Where the Heart Is
Four places I have lived:
Kansas City, MO
North Carolina (Greensboro)
Dayton, Ohio (just for a minute-don't judge me!)
Cincinnati, Ohio
Four TV shows I love to watch:
Desperate Housewives
Grey's Anatomy
Four places I have been on vacation:
Outer Banks
West Palm Beach (ick, BTW)
Smith Mountain Lake, VA
Four websites I visit daily:
Lately, Ebay to check my sales (anyone want a $1700 tv?)
Regular, People Blogs (more than 4)
Cute Overload (.com)
The Daily Mumps (dailymumps.com)
Four Favorite foods:
Spanish Chicken (tomato paste, beer, green olives and chicken)
Macadamia Brickle Haagen Daaz
Steamed Veggies (nearly anything)
Cold Cereal and milk
Four places I would rather be right now:
At the salon
Hawaii with Jt
California (seeing nephew I haven't met yet!)
Smith Mt. Lake (with the Lesters)

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Big Love

I am typically not all that interested in polygamy and whether or not it should be legal. I don't like that it seems to foster oppression of women and I really don't like that it frequently involves very young "women". I can't, however, come up with a good reason for it being illegal. My family, my choice. I believe homosexuals should have every right to marriage and family as well. Some people believe these are completely seperate issues but they both come down to adults having the legal right to love other consenting adults in whatever way they choose. There is an article by William Saletan over at Slate that tries to distinguish between the two. Here are some interesting snippets:

My friend Charles Krauthammer makes the argument succinctly in the Washington Post. "Traditional marriage is defined as the union of (1) two people of (2) opposite gender," he observes. "If, as advocates of gay marriage insist, the gender requirement is nothing but prejudice, exclusion and an arbitrary denial of one's autonomous choices," then "on what grounds do they insist upon the traditional, arbitrary and exclusionary number of two?"Here's the answer. The number isn't two. It's one. You commit to one person, and that person commits wholly to you. Second, the number isn't arbitrary. It's based on human nature. Specifically, on jealousy.

Some people say the Bible sanctions polygamy. "Abraham, David, Jacob and Solomon were all favored by God and were all polygamists," argues law professor Jonathan Turley. Favored? Look what polygamy did for them. Sarah told Abraham to sleep with her servant. When the servant got pregnant and came to despise Sarah, Sarah kicked her out. Rachel and Leah fought over Jacob, who ended up stripping his eldest son of his birthright for sleeping with Jacob's concubine. David got rid of Bathsheba's husband by ordering troops to betray him in battle. Promiscuity had the first word, but jealousy always had the last.

I do like that last sentence and I guess the article makes its point that someone can support one without supporting the other. The problem I see is that he refers to human nature (specifically jealousy) when that's one of the arguments people use against homosexual marriage as well. It is in our nature to hook up with the opposite sex for procreation. Of course, homosexuals often still have the desire to procreate so are they really going "against nature"?
These are my unchecked, early thoughts...feel free to respond.

Monday, March 27, 2006

My Place in This World

Here's a fun quiz that suggests places you should live based on your answers. Try it out and let me know what they say!
P.S. It only includes America

Sunday, March 26, 2006

*WARNING* Too Much Information!!

Okay, so Friday I had a friend come over. She has a one year old son and another just about to pop out. Neither of us really liked each other until she joined my Bible Study group. Plus we have never hung out before so I was a little nervous. She hadn't been here long when Isaiah disappeared into my room. He came out dragging something behind him. I didn't even notice until his mom said, "Isaiah, what do you have now?"
Wanna know what it was? I bet you can guess...

Friday, March 17, 2006

Maybe It's the Uniform

I'm sure you all have heard about the Phelpasites picketing soldiers' funerals. What I only heard about today, though, is the 5,000 strong Patriot Guard. They come to the funerals and stand between attendees and lunatics forming a kind of shield.
These things get me every time. When my grandfather died a few years ago, he did not rank high enough for a live bugler (hardly anyone does, they send a guy with a tape deck). A close friend of the family is a marine so he got some of his guys together. As we pulled up to the graveside at Quantico there were five guys in formal uniform saluting and a live bugler about 50 yards away. One of the most moving things I've ever experienced.
Here's the article on the Patriot Guard.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Better Than Your Porn Name

This is way cooler than a name generator...create a South Park you!



ps- New links to the right

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Exhibitionist Pottying the Legal Way

This is the outside of the potty, reportedly in Houston.

And this is the inside! Could you do it?

Monday, February 20, 2006

Monday Fun with Sanitation

This is the warehouse for the garbage trucks in Cincinnati. The sanitation workers learned how to wheelie their trucks and were playing around when this happened. The photos were taken by the responding fire fighters, called to get the driver out. As of a few days after the incident, the truck was still up there since no one could figure out how to get it down.