Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Death of an Uncle-Part 3 (Alternate Title: 'It's a FUNERAL you dumbfuck')

We had the funeral for my uncle on Saturday. It was sad, it was really hard to see his kids and brothers and sisters...my dad, all grieving. I felt an overwhelming desire to talk to my uncle and did. I needed to tell him that everything is okay now...I've forgiven him and I love him.
Until he died, he had to hold on to his excuses because he couldn't live with himself if he didn't. He can't hold on to those anymore and I know that he stood (or will stand) before God and saw his sins for what they were and that responsibility for his actions was laid on him. But I also know that those sins were then removed. It's such an amazing concept, those things are no longer a part of him, he is no longer a culmination of his actions, his goods and bads. Now he just gets to be Bob, the one God sees and loves. Which means that now he is just Uncle Bob. I feel closer to him now than I ever have in my life. Weird, huh?
At the service I was grieving for my family but I had so much peace and joy about him and where he is and who he is now. I cannot describe to you the healing this has brought me. What's amazing is realizing that when Christ died it wasn't just a means for us to be saved...it was to bring us healing, it's encompassing. Bob being redeemed through Jesus Christ has brought me healing and I know that's what God intended.
I have never in my life felt the way I have in the past couple months, maybe even just weeks. I feel like, for the first time, I actually know God. And I trust Him...that's the real kicker. It was only last fall that I thought I would NEVER really trust Him.

So, how was the funeral? I usually just tell people, "Well, I was hungover when I did nursery the next day..." which is true. The service itself was a real disappointment. My dad was supposed to sing the Keith Green version of The 23rd Psalm (download it, it's beautiful) which he also sang at his mother's funeral more than 20 years ago. He couldn't find the music for it so I was disappointed. He is a rich tenor, perfect for the song, and I don't hear him sing that often anymore. The other problem was the guy that officiated. He was one of Bob's ministers from Franklin Vineyard. He delivered the most canned funeral message, full of stories from his own life and very little about Bob. At one point, he even told a joke about his age and then looked around the room, "No one's laughing." That was part of the joke but I'm thinking, "IT'S A FUNERAL YOU DUMB FUCK!!"
And that's it, in a nutshell, a lame service, but my uncle (mom's brother) did a great graveside talk when my dad couldn't do it at the last minute. And I got really drunk in my parents' backyard with my aunt's family and laughed so hard my face hurt.

1 comment:

  1. I love Keith Green!
    KG's music has influenced me more than anything else on the planet almost. I have listened to him for so long. He has also influenced me as a musician, to be very honest and real in my lyrics. Actually, I'd be honored if you'd check out my music on my site. Its very, "Keithish."
    Thanks for posting,
    "All of my music is free for download."