Monday, May 05, 2008


With Elliet starting school this fall, Jedd and I have been discussing public versus private in more earnest. We won't send her to private at this's way too expensive but I struggle with what is best for her in the near future.
We have a niece and nephew in Christian school and I was actually opposed to Christian school for my own kids until I saw how other family members were doing with it. Any school brings with it some things I'm not ready Hannah Montana and cliques and learning social skills in our slightly disfunctional society. When I think about public school, I remember the 3 years I spent working with kids in Price Hill. I know, that's a bit extreme since we'll have the kids in a better district. I'm just not sure how extreme it is in comparison. The kids I knew were all too familiar with sexual terms and adult pop culture. My niece asked about sex recently...she was trying to figure out how it works, why some kids look like their parents and some do not. Will my kids ask about sex the first time because they want to know why a boy on the bus was talking about blow jobs? I just hope they can retain a bit of their innocence through primary school.
The other conversation regarding schools for us was a result of this little bit on Mother Talkers. It's about how "progressive" dads still struggle with their own children being homosexual. It's a conversation we've had before, "what if." It strengthens my desire to find a gay-friendly church. I love the church we are in now and I can live with their position on homosexuality because, hey, we're not gonna agree on everything. I just started thinking that if my girls grow up in a community that views homosexuality not only as a sin but as the sin...what will that do to them if they are gay? So I'm thinking, their community basically consists of (extended) family, church and school. This basically started for us as a school conversation. It's one more reason to go public. But maybe it should be a church conversation.
My sister was baptized (!) this weekend. She goes to a great church and one that is considered a little more tolerant than most. However, one of her friends who attended the baptism is a lesbian. During the ceremony the minister interviewed a young guy who had fallen into a lifestyle of homosexuality and who was "being delivered" from it. The minister went on to talk about other people who had come out of the lifestyle. Errrg, how awkward. Now, I have no judgement about this kid, it's likely he was not gay to begin with. When I think about situations like this one I remember as well when Flipper brought a gay friend to church with her and the youth minister used the entire time to talk about homosexuality. What makes it worse is that he directed the discussion assuming no one there was gay. Flipper was devastated. I don't want that experience for my kids.


  1. I really don't understand why you guys don't just relocate to the United Church of Christ, or some mainline/liberal denomination. They bring their own kind of headaches, but do not have the same morally conflicted baggage that the evangelical church does. And they def. need some young blood. All these efforts to redeem and reform the evangelical church that I see and hear about, to make it more tolerant and such, just seem misguided.

    Their position on homosexuality is just indicative of their really messed up perspective on sex in general -- and ultimately a reflection of their perspective on the body and people. Drives me crazy.

  2. There's a UCC right in our neighborhood I've been thinking about checking out. It's hard to break out of the mold I guess. My parents acted like I was deserting the faith when I switched to a Christian Church...with a UCC we might as well be atheists!
    As the kids get older, their needs start to outweigh our own hangups. I suppose it's also true that as we get older our own needs/convictions outweigh whatever crap we'll get from our parents.

  3. I'm glad you didn't take my comment as overly negative. I realized after sending it that the tone might've been unclear.

    I also get that it's hard to break beyond your past. Increasingly, though, I'm of the mind the desire of progressive evangelicals to change their conservative churches might be better served just relocating to another tradition/church. I realize I'm in the minority, though, as most have a peculiar (to me) desire to reform their tradition/church.

  4. Relocating feels like giving up, not that we won't do it eventually anyway. I hear the same from progressive Catholics.

  5. Yeah. I can see that. Granted, it's the same logic of an abused spouse. But in some respects its understandable. In the end, it seems to just generate even more animosity than it actually changes anything positively.