Friday, July 25, 2008

Sit Around and Drink

I'm home. So that's good news. Baby's still inside. Also good news. My fluid level had gone down to 1.6cm...really bad. Today they were up to ~9cm. That's a significant increase but still borderline. So I'm going in twice a week for level checks, drinking enough water to float the Titanic, and I'm on bedrest. Ah, the dreaded bedrest. I've never had it before but I've heard the tales. I guess it's not the strictest kind of bedrest. I wish they had given me some sort of comprehensive list of what not to do. As it is, she said I don't have to be chained to the bed but no grocery stores or other running around. "Spend as much of your time as possible sitting with your feet up." (cue evil Dr laugh) I mean, how do I know how much is too much? I would rather err on the side of caution but I don't know how what with the two kids plus housal responsibilities. I'll figure it out, or I should say we'll figure it out. Jt's really laid back about the whole thing and thinks he can rearrange his work schedule to help out.
It may not sound like it but I am so relieved that things are still okay, I really don't want her to come early (obvious much?). It freaks me out even though she'd probably be fine in the long run. I can't stand the thought of leaving the hospital while she's still there. So let's hope she stays put for...oh, about 7 more weeks! And in return, I'll stay put as well.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Just after you Acknowledge it...

Okay, first thing to know. This is not Sarah...it's Jedd.

Second thing to know. Sarah is in the hospital.

Why is it that as soon as you think things are going well...something always happens to bring you down off your cloud. Maybe I'm a pessimist.

So, in the post below Sarah shared that the ambiotic fluid that was low had in a weeks time risen to 13...a good number. From our reading anything over 5 is acceptable as not dangerous, however, our OB likes to see it at 10 or above. Sarah went back in today to have it checked again (just to be on the safe side) and she scored a 1.6. Not good...not good at all! They sent her straight to the hospital and filled her with several bags of fluid with more to come through the night. They are keeping a monitor on the baby and will do another ultrasound in the AM to see where things stand. We are both hopeful...we really don't know what else to be as we don't quite understand the up and down nature of ambiotic fluids. The doctor didn't think there was a leak so where did the fluids go???

Anyway, if she gets to come home tomorrow...she will update you...if not...she will make me bring her lifelife, er..I mean the laptop...to her and she will still update you.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

When you got so much to say...

It's called GRATITUDE (Beastie Boys, anyone?)


BEFORE
You can see the extreme curve on the right...that's her vertebre. The part on the left is some extra pieces that aren't growing. Instead, they act as a tether, causing the curve to get worse and worse.

















AFTER
The side view is even more strange as you can see the screws from the side, threads and all.














Last Week:
Amniotic fluid measures ~9cm
(borderline)

This Week:
Amniotic fluid measures ~13cm
(fine!)


This month last year:
Kenai had her first seizure. Thinking about that day makes leaves me shaking.

It was a lazy weekend morning. The girls were on my bedroom floor picking up something they had spilled. Elliet starts complaining, "Kenai, get OFF of me!" I lean over the side of the bed where I see Kenai facedown in Elliet's lap with her bottom half under my bed. I start to pull her off. At first I think she's resisting because she's being a butt because it's Kenai, she does that sort of thing. Then, I realize she's not bending herself to get her legs out. Mommy-mode kicks in and I jump off the bed so I can slide her out more carefully.

Her whole body is rigid and she's making that sound. It's a sound you know if you've ever observed this kind of seizure. Apparently it's a sound you could mistake for choking, as Jedd did. I yelled for him, "Call 911, she's having a seizure." I laid her on her side on my bed and watched her mouth turn blue. Jedd came in the room and I don't think he understood. He thought maybe she was choking. "No, it's a seizure, tell them she's having a seizure."

I don't know how he feels but I still don't understand. Choking would have made some sort of sense. Seizures don't, they never did, they still don't. It's not something you get used to, just something you learn how to handle.

Once she came out of the seizure and she was crying, Jedd held her while I made some calls. I left a message for my boss since I had some things she needed for the morning service. I called my sister and she said she'd meet us at Childrens. The paramedics cleared her and said that since her vitals were fine we could take her ourselves if we preferred.

Two months pass, just long enough for us to relax and think maybe she's fine.

September. We think she has a seizure during her nap. She goes to my office at the church with me to pick up a few things. She falls over backwards with a seizure. I hold her on my lap. Five minutes pass and she's still going. I call 911. I get our friend across the hall and he helps find my upurse while I wait at the front for the ambulance. Elliet and I get strapped in and watch them fumble around with the oxygen. They're waiting for something but I don't know what. Other emergency vehicles arrive. They're still fumbling around and I strongly suspect they are trying to look like they are doing something while they wait for whatever it is they are waiting for. I'm trying to track down Jt at a Red's game and finally get my sister to call her boyfriend who is there with him. I call my mom. Someone else arrives and he seems to be the one they were waiting for. They talk, we finally leave. She's gone on for about 12 minutes now. THANK GOD she was breathing the whole time.

I have a hard time remembering much else about last year. I know that I was working and still babysitting. I know Flipper and Jayden were living with us. I know I had mono. I know my dad broke his pelvic bone. I know he also performed CPR on my sister when she rolled off the couch during a seizure. I know all this, I jsut don't really have any memory of it. It's like those memories you have from being really young. Their not really memories they just feel like it because you've seen the pictures and heard the stories.

Anyway...


This month THIS year:
4 months seizure-FREE. Not a one. This makes me feel like crying. When I think about where we were in March, not knowing if she would ever be okay...my GOD, my arms start to feel weak, like my heart is slowing down or something.


One of the things I don't remember well from last year is how Jedd and I got through it as a couple. I know we argued more than we do now. Most of that was over the houseguests though. Arguing is so foreign to us at this point that it feels really strange when it happens. Another thing to be really grateful for.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Crack-Speak

This was posted on Boobs, Injuries and Dr. Pepper. A fun non-mommy-blog...mommy blog that my friend Jenn showed me. Now, I pride myself on being able to decipher local ghetto-speak. Mostly because Jedd can't, like, at all. But this lady had me stumped for sure.
Watch for witness #2, you can't miss her.

I might hate you

It's true, I probably hate you right now. And your mom. I don't remember the last time I was this irritable. It's not just that I don't like you, I am also certain you never liked me to begin with. Call it the 30 week (b)itch if you will. Today, I decided to take the kids outside to swim.

This included applying sunscreen in lotion form to two wiggle worms because we ran out of the spray kind. Whoever invented that spray deserves a medal, or maybe a pint of Haagen Daaz. Our kids are gonna wonder why their parents all have skin cancer when it's so easy to spray yourself. We'll tell them about sunscreen lotions, cassette tapes and VCRs and they'll just laugh.

Two hours later I was apologizing over pizza and juice boxes. Nothing says "I'm sorry" like getting your own juice box. See, I feel guilty because they are having a boring summer. So I take them outside...sunscreen, swimsuits, towels, water, camera...oh yeah, guess I gotta get out of my jammies as well. Fifteen minutes later they want to go inside. So we go in, I put them in the shower with me. They get whiney becaused they want to play in the bath. They don't want to play in the pool, they want to play in the tub. It made me murderous feel angry.

From The Funky Stork

"The third trimester is generally when the weight becomes burdensome and the discomforts of pregnancy return. By the end of this trimester, your partner may be suffering from swollen ankles, fatigue, constipation and hemorrhoids. She may be uncomfortable with how she looks and with her limited mobility. Everything will become tedious: walking, standing and even sitting. Be patient and pick up the slack by helping out around the house more than ever."

I know he knows all these things already. He has to know that as much TMI as I'm already giving him, there's plenty more to be had. I mentioned the leak because it seemed pertinent to the discussion. See, my OB said my amniotic fluid is borderline...we have to check it again tomorrow to make sure it's not going anywhere. And see, at this point in a pregnancy, things start leaking. And see, we can't always tell exactly what it is that's leaking. See, it could be AF or it could be your usual...bladder issues.

But I haven't mentioned the other things. And there ARE. Other. Things.

My lovely partner needs a refresher course. Don't ever compare your normal tired/grouchiness with what I'm experiencing right now. I will hurt you. DON'T complain that you wake up every time I get up to go to the bathroom. If my trying to catapult myself out of bed 6-8 times a night bothers you...BITE ME. I know you are used to having the tv on while you fall asleep. I know that until now, it worked great for you when I rolled my eyes as you turned on the tv then waited until you were asleep so I could turn it off and try to fall asleep through your snoring. It's not working for me anymore. Get over it.

More from The Funky Stork:

"You need to realize that your partner does not have any control over this. She is flooded with hormones as her body works diligently to nurture and sustain a new life - your baby. Her hormones may make her weepy, irritable, exhausted and nauseous. Try to be patient and understanding. The worst thing you can do is fight back when she's cranky or rationalize with her when she is neurotic. You will only aggravate the
situation, which in turn will make her even crankier or more neurotic."

Only a week ago I was composing a mushy post about how great my husband is and how glad I am we managed to wed.

*****

Don't stress that baby!

The last few weeks I've been torn between taking care of the already-born family and taking care of New Baby. The AF thing is new but I've been having painful contractions since ~week 26. I have to lay down or at least sit and hydrate to make them stop. So of course, I've been vacuuming/rinsing dishes/scrubbing the toilet through the pain. Really, the house is not clean, I'm not trying to beat my previous gestational time of 39 weeks or anything. But just keeping it from gross requires doing some things I'm not sure I should be doing. And now, I could be losing fluid that the baby needs to, you know, LIVE. Let's just assume for now that it's going to remain borderline, maybe they'll have to pump saline up in there while I labor to prevent cord compression, but it won't get low enough to require an early birth. K?

Last week I got a call from someone I was friends with in high school. People who know me well know who she is, and they know why there's still a faint "M" scar on my ankle. Last year she and I exchanged some emails after a decade or so of no contact. She is not the same person. I know, who is the same person they were in high school? Still, I've retained some of my personality from those days and I suspect you have as well. Anyway, longish story short, she didn't want to speak to me ever again. I got no reason, just a weird "the Lord wants me to release you." Signed by her and her husband, a guy I've never met. So, I get this call...

Me:Hello? M___:Hi, how are you? Me:Um, fine. How are you? M___:So I'm calling because I'm in AA. Me:Ohhh M___:Yeah, so I'm on step 9 which is [...blah blah blah] and you're on my list of people I've harmed. Me:Huh.

I told her I can't meet her right now, maybe she can email. Frankly, I don't think it will be much different than the last time we spoke. I can't deal with that kind of emotional turmoil right now. She really, really hurt me. The thing is, I'm not even sure we would agree on what this "harm" she did me actually looked like. I'm pretty sure she still goes to _____ (weird church with giant Jesus in their lake) so...if that tells you anything.

*****

The pressure to get ALL THIS PAPERWORK together for the girls' school is super and includes doctor visits for both kids. Since the school is a co-op I have to have a doctor's note, a TB test and rubella titer as well. None of which can be done at the same place. Which is great because driving the 30 minutes to my OB every week or two hasn't been enough. It's also time for Kenai's neurology and allergy checkups. Time for Elliet's well-check (with shots). Time for Kenai to start back with Speech, OT and PT. Time for both girls to see the dentist. And way beyond time for me to see the dermatologist. Mom, Dad and sister have all had cancers removed in the last two years. I've got two spots I'm sure they will biopsy and lots of others they need to examine.

Then I got a letter from the school letting me know that Kenai has to be potty-trained.