Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Thirty Days, Shmirty Days

So, remember how I was gonna start working out? And how I did the 30 Day Shred and it was really hard? Yeah. That was the last time I worked out. I'm trying to be really laid-back about this goal of losing weight/living healthier. Obviously.
I am so terrified of failing at this endeavor that I'm giving myself a LOT of room for the little failures. I am one of those people who tends to turn the smallest offenses into major transgressions. Like I can't just have one Little Debbie, I have to go for the two cream pies plus some cinnamon hearts TKO. I feel like if I'm gonna cheat, I'd better make it worth it. Where "worth it" apparently means "nauseated". It's kind of like when I used to smoke and every time I thought about quitting I would smoke an extra pack or so that same night. Something in my brain is saying, "Let's get while the gettin's good!! woohooooo!!"
My brain also can't seem to make the connection between what I'm putting in my mouth right now and the fat that shows up a little later. This one time won't matter. It's not this one meal/heart attack in a paper bag that's gonna make you fat. Except it is and I just can't seem to internalize that concept.
My tendency to overeat feels like an addiction. I've experienced addiction before and I really think that this is exactly what I am dealing with now. Only they don't make a patch for this. Solutions tumble through my brain over and over (hypnosis, overeaters anonymous-do they have those?, accupuncture, whatever) and I've decided that I'm just going to try everything until I find the thing that works for me.
I tried the Shred and while I'm not giving up on it, it is not the right thing for me right now. So now I'm moving on to the YMCA. I toured the local Y on Saturday, the last day for "no joining fee". A couple of years ago I dropped about 25 pounds going to Curves. I like the workout but the hours make it impossible for me to get there. The Y has childcare! classes! a pool! This one even has an indoor waterpark and when the kids see it they will absolutely shit themselves freak out. My hope is that working out will help me eat less. In the past I've found it easier to modify my diet when I am exercising. If the eating doesn't work itself out my next step will be Weight Watchers. I think the meetings will make all the difference for me.
So I don't think this is the last time I will fail. I will give up on more workouts, I will eat more than one treat in a sitting. But the difference for me now is that I will keep going. Each transgression is just a blip, just a small lesson not a reason to give up.

3 comments:

  1. The whole thing about the Y, if you aren't really working out now, you aren't really going to go there. Don't go to the one on Winton, but I think I told you that already. Plus to go work out at the Y, you have to get the kids ready and fight with them and pack the bag and they'll be pissed if you don't take them into the water, if they know it's there. I think you can do it! At least stop buying the junk food...
    Join curves and leave J with the kids....

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  2. The beauty of it is that with Elliet in school, we're already dressed and ready so the plan is to go after school. And yeah, I remembered what you said about Winton so I went over to Colerain.

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  3. :), I feel ya, maybe you'll inspire me, one less treat at a time

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