Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Dr. Phil Gets It Right

I'm pretty sure it's no secret that I am not a Dr. Phil hater. Really, most of the time I like him and I think he's right. Not ALL the time, just most of the time. I am also sick. to. death. of the octomom story. Or not the story so much as the shit people spew about the whole thing. I get it though, it's weird and mommy certainly has provided plenty of fodder for talk. I get the talk but what I don't get is the whole being mean thing. I swear the minute we decide somebody's "wrong" we've earned our license to bash. And bash and bash and bash.
There are people saying the kids should go into foster care (have you seen our foster care system?) Then there are people saying that we should put legal limits on the reproductive health community. I've been surprised to see this sentiment expressed even by friends who claim to be pro-choice. I'm stunned that anyone would want to limit the rights of everyone based on what ONE person did.
After my initial "that bitch is CRAZY!" reaction, I mostly just hoped that she would get enough help. I mean, yeah, she's a little nutsy but she also seems genuinely kind and she obviously really loves her kids. On his show today, Dr. Phil got to meet the babies (totally cute) and talk to the agency that will be staffing the family with nurses. He also got all kinds of other help for her (furniture etc). I am so relieved that he got the judgey part over with and moved on to giving her real help so that those babies (and the other kids) can have a real chance at health and success.
I want to know what you think. Should the kids live with mom? Should there have been laws in place to avoid this situation? Is it different than Jon and Kate? Or the Duggars?


  1. I am not sure what I think. I think it's wrong that on our dime she was able to have fertility treatment and that a Dr. was so careless as to implant so many emryos into a woman who could not even support the children she already had, but where I stand as far as who and where the children should be cared for, I don't know. My gut says they belong with mom, but can she care for them? She's single, her parents don't seem overly supportive at this point and when the "gifts" run out, then what? Welfare was not meant to be lived on forever. Anyway, there's my rant.

  2. Jon and Kate and the Duggars aren't living off the system. Haven't been working the system. Have found SOME way to pay for all those kids.
    I'm agreeing that welfare isn't meant to be lived on FOREVER. In the decline that is the economy and the booming debt that has fallen onto our country, it really sucks to see that this mom, who couldn't afford the first batch of kids, willingly, WILLINGLY, went out and got pregnant and KNEW that it would be 8 babies!!! Now, I'll give a lady, oops I got pregnant, but to go out and do it when you can't even afford the first round is what makes me sick and outraged!
    She should keep the kids. Foster care sucks. At least now they'll be all together and get a decent life. I think it's great that people what to have a litter of kids. If I had (or should I say, get) my way, I want 5 kids total. That seems like a lot, but I'm WAITING until I can afford to take care of them....
    I'll put my soapbox away now.
    ps. I'm not against welfare, if it's used properly....

  3. I keep wondering how all this news coverage makes a family of 14 kids and two parents feel? It's not common, but they're out there- couples who wanted to have a lot of kids, and did, and are working together to raise the family. I think the kids should stay with her, for sure, but the absence of a father, and simply a "partner" for the mother is kind of devastating to that family. I would never choose to raise a child without Matthew, because it's so much harder as a single mom....even to one child, let alone 14.

  4. I totally agree with you... I'm tired of hearing all the hatred towards this mother. She made a mistake but who hasn't. I wish people would learn the facts before forming their opinions. The only welfare mom was receiving was food stamps and medical. Tax payers did not pay for her to become pregnant! She spent money she saved from a settlement years before. She does not plan to live off welfare...she is in college..which is more than I can say for the majority of people on welfare. Nobody seems to be outraged by the millions of single mother's out there having 5 or more children and "planning" to always live on welfare with no career plan. It angers me to hear people bash her for being a single parent. Yeah it would be wonderful for everyone that had children to have a wonderful partner to raise their children with but life doesn't hand that to everyone and I don't think we should start telling people who can and who can't have children because that is a very dangerous slope. What's done is done and we need to enbrace these children and stop bashing their mother! Remember she's their mother and what will they think about all the mean things people are saying about the woman that brought them into this world and cares for them everyday. I've seen much worse mother's out there.

  5. i love this post. I agree, what I've gotten most tired of is everyone's opinions -everyone who has nothing to do with the situation has two cents they want to put in, and mostly bash. So here's mine: I agree that there should be medical guidelines which practices follow. I don't think that it was good medicine for the Dr. to implant all 6 embryos at one time. But the fact is, it happened, he did, she did, and they're here. All 14 kids. I don't want to see the kids lose their Mommy or each other. And seriously, what kind of cruelty would it be to just throw them to the system. This is another opportunity for the human community to show compassion and help out.

  6. I've known people who totally worked the system. No joke, I knew a lady who drove a new car every year and went to the Bahamas at Christmas. She got housing, daycare, food and I think help with school. I wonder if hiring people to investigate the fraud would save them enough in the long run to pay for the extra manpower.
    FWIW, I do think she (Nadya) and the doctor were wrong and reckless but in the end it's her decision and that is how it should be.

  7. OMG I'm so sick of it too! I especially hate it when people act as if she paid for all this with government support, just because she was on disability. It's not like she FAKED disability and then got paid MILLIONS: she got injured and collected the less-than-wages amount of money that is available for that. Just like pretty much all of us would in that situation. It's like people saying that people who have children while on health insurance are having kids "the rest of us pay for." She'd get the same amount of money for disability whether she had no kids or twenty, and it's hardly a princely sum.

    And if she's on welfare now---well, so are a lot of other people who had kids anyway on purpose.

    And I also hate hearing details like that her kids sleep on mattresses on the floor, as if that represents TOTAL NEGLECT because they don't have BED FRAMES. They have a house, they're well-fed, they have mattresses to sleep on. Bed frames are totally optional and don't represent good parenting. But everyone acts all SHOCKED about it, like a cluttered house means they live in MUD and wear RAGS.