Thursday, July 09, 2009

Searching for That Thing

I'm looking for that thing. You know THAT THING. The one that will fix everything? You know what I'm talking about? When I wanted to quit smoking I couldn't find that thing. I needed something that would make me really want to quit. I never did find it until I was pregnant with Elliet. Suddenly I had the thing and it was almost easy to quit. Then I needed the thing that would make me exercise. I got a DVD, I joined the Y, I asked them to show me around the nautilus facility, I started going to classes with a friend. But the thing turned out to be a weekly session with a trainer. Now I work out 6 days a week. Spinning, weight training, hiking with the kids, water aerobics and yoga. I love it all and I can't imagine quitting! I feel so strong already. Level one of the 30 Day Shred is a piece of cake and I even did one and two back-to-back last time for an extra challenge! But I haven't lost even an ounce of weight.
I cannot stop eating. It's terrible. It's embarassing. Like my friend Emily posted recently, I eat like the food is going somewhere. It's like there's a subconscious fear that I won't be able to eat this ever again. It is reminiscent of my final year of smoking. I knew I had to quit so every pack felt like the last even though it wasn't. My smoking increased to a pack and a half per day. That's 30 cigarettes every day. At least. For a year. At least.
This is probably very similar. I know I need to get my eating under control. I had a real scare with the diabetes during this last pregnancy. (You'd think THAT would be the thing, eh?) The doctors were certain I had developed Type 2 as opposed to it being just gestational but so far I am testing okay. So I know I have to "quit" and soon. I have to find that thing before a diagnosis of Type 2 IS that thing.
What thing are you looking for?

8 comments:

  1. I totally and completely understand your trouble. I eat like it's my last meal, and I can't stand to see anything go to waste. I NEED to find "THE THING" too. Good luck to you!

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  2. For me, the THING was the first and second week of losing weight. After that, it was all, ahem, cake. My gym is right next to a McDonalds ... and, man, do I love their milkshakes. BUT, I found I liked the feeling of seeing the lost pounds more, and decided that jeopardizing that for a very fleeting sugar high wasn't enough. I still get my milkshake from time to time, but never on gym days. That would be scandalous!

    Also ... don't underestimate the value of splitting desserts & snacks. You can rationalize almost any food, probably even rightly, when you cut it in two.

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  3. hmmm, what is my thing? I guess Twilight and vampires can't be the answer to everything right? Too bad really. I'm trying to come out of my hibernation mode myself. Eating isn't my problem, so much as not seeing the light of day. I've been working on little by little getting some Vitamin D (and maybe some walking and weeding). I'm so impressed by all the physical stuff you're doing. Wow! If I could do even one of those I'd be proud of myself. I'm a big fan of baby steps. I think being concerned and aware, and working out are great steps. And it is supposed to help to eat through out the day, helping metabolism. Now it's just a matter of replacing bad food with better food. I have to watch out for diabetes too. My parents are both. Kudos for even looking for that thing. :)

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  4. Brad, Jedd still gets offended that my family shares food. I can't imagine ever splitting anything with him! I was thinking about that today when I took the girls to DQ for Elliet's birthday. The small blizzard is too much for me so maybe I could split one with Jedd. Then I laughed out loud at myself for such a silly thought.
    I'm glad you've found your thing. Maybe I can shoot for two weeks and see what happens.

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  5. My family was never into sharing either. Not sure about K.'s, but we split a lot now: cans of Coke, Chipotle burritos, apple pie a la mode (mmmm), etc. The only thing I won't split is a bottle of beer. Bitch better keep her hands offa that!

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  6. I was never offended...just caught off guard when we would go to a restaurant and all the plates would go round the table before it settled at your location. You order something because you think it will be good to eat...not because you think it will be good watching other people eat it :)

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  7. We are experimenters by nature and want to taste the whole menu! And don't lie, you get a look anytime you hear, "Mmm, try this"

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  8. Same as your goal. I am in my mid-thirties, I should not be eating like a scavenging child on a growth spurt.

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