Sunday, August 09, 2009

Conviction

I hate conviction. I hate it because it means I HAVE to do something. It will eat at you until you do. Tonight I felt convicted. But this time I'm pretty happy about it.
During the Summer of Love series at church we have been going through the ten commandments. The ministers approached the commandments with the premise that God is love so what are the commandments saying about love? Tonight was the one about coveting.

Exodus 20:17 You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

The preacher summed this up as "Love contentment" (each commandment had been re-worded as Love____). I cannot believe how bad this issue has become for me and how completely ignorant I was to it. I am not content. I want a bigger house. I want more money. I want to be able to eat out whenever I want without worrying about the money. I want more children. I want I want I want. It's ridiculous really.
So I feel convicted. I feel that I need to find contentment. I could start with being grateful for the things I have.
I am so grateful that Kenai is okay. Her surgery last year was successful and she hasn't had a seizure in over a year. Jedd has a good job and chances are, even if the company downsizes as a result of the healthcare bill, he will be one of the ones that stays on because they appreciate how hard he works for them. I am grateful that my family has come so far. It was not so long ago that I couldn't even talk to my parents and now my mom is one of my best friends. I am grateful for my old church and for my new church. I love them both for different reasons. LifeSpring is the first church I went to where I found family. I am certain I will carry some of those relationships with me forever. I am grateful for the church we are in now and their amazing willingness to serve the community and the world.
I have an idea of what this conviction will require of me but I will save that for another post. For now, I am simply aware of the problem and this is lightyears from where I was before the sermon.

4 comments:

  1. I like that idea, the opposite of covetousness is contentment. I too want things, but I am less of a black hole of discontent than I used to be. I'd definitely like some more money, but I am staying home with the kids and that is rewarding though not lucrative work~ hahaha

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  2. 30 years ago I used to be a worshiper of money and thought it bought happiness. It only brought me more greed for material things and more bills with more greed for money. Yet I still felt empty inside.

    When I turned to worshiping God, I found inner peace that money could never buy. Contentment comes to mind. Love and compassion of others less fortunate materialized. Seeking out others for fellowship materialized and the list continues to grow.

    Today I am far more wealthy than I could ever imagine and it is not in money or material things.

    You are trully a blessed person. I have enjoyed our rebuttals.

    Take care:

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  3. I am so glad I'm back reading your stuff! I've missed you! xo

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  4. So glad to have you back, E!

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