Saturday, December 05, 2009

Dreaming Little

My friend Suzanne at List, Lust, Lost made a list recently, a sort of life list. Some people call it a bucket list. She had some little things, some bigger, things to learn, things to experience, places to go. I thought I would try this but I couldn't think of much. Then I did one of those surveys on Facebook and one question was "where would you visit if you had the chance?" and I said Alaska. No, really.
It was then that I realized I had stopped dreaming big. I have no idea what this means. Is it good? Is it part of learning how to be content where I am? I have felt very content lately, not wanting for much. An idea will come up and I think, "nah, I don't really need that" Or is it bad? Is it evidence I've contracted the sickness of mothers, the one where your dreams just don't matter anymore? I really don't know. I don't want to go through life always wanting for something. But I also don't want to go through life accomplishing nothing because I stopped trying.
So here's the list, I'll try and think big where I can:


-Learn some basic Swahili - I just like it, it's a beautiful language

-Learn a craft, right now I'm leaning toward quilting. I have tried knitting a few times but I have tension issues, which is also why I didn't get anywhere with piano. I can't seem to make my hands and fingers do things gently.

-Learn enough Spanish to get by in a Spanish-speaking country for at least a few weeks

-Get enough medical training (probably RN) to do medical outreach here and abroad. This one is hard because I don't really want to be a nurse. Well, sometimes I do but usually I don't. But I want something important to offer the world.

These are harder, these are the ones that have me wondering how driven I really am to include them on the list. Part of this is just wondering if I will ever come to a point in life that the expense for these trips is justified or even available.

-Travel to Africa, not sure where yet. See the wildlife.

-Travel to Australia, see the outback (that's a thing right?) and the reef.


-Work in an orphanage in Romania for not longer than a month (unless Jt goes with me)

-Have a big dog

-Go to Burning Man at least one more time

-Keep chickens, just some laying hens. No more fretting over finding free range eggs.

-Switch to local, humane, clean meat


-Have one. That really is as far as I've gone with this one.


-Find my half-brother, whether he wants a relationship or not. I just want to know who he is.


-Complete an XTERRA race

-Finish Burning Man tattoo (not exactly a feat, I know)

If you want to make your own list, start here:
How to Make a Life List You’ll Actually Do: A Comprehensive Guide


  1. I think that's a great post - a great exercise in dreaming. I think you're right about both aspects. Motherhood teaches us so many things. It seems that the sacrifice part is one of those things that hopefully brings us to contentment. However, it is frighteningly easy to lose oneself - the dreams, the rest of the woman besides the mom. (The book I mentioned before was "Mama's Got a Fake I.D. by Rivadeneira)
    I want to have my own egg laying hens too. I was just saying that the other day - how nice it would be to just have my own. :)

  2. I have a large dog I can trade with you. In exchange you can give me a cookie. :)

    I do think as parents, especially stay at home moms, we forget that we too can have a life outside of children. Going to school sucks and I hate being away from my family and all the guilt that comes with it is terrible... but, I am doing something for myself. My family will benefit in the long run but, I am doing something for myself. It may not be something quite as dramatic or time consuming for you to do but, just find something for yourself each day that is completely selfish. You'll be a better mommy because, you'll be a happier mommy.

  3. As far as switching to local, humane meat, go to, and look at the meat CSAs. We ended up buying 1/4 a cow, instead of doing an actual CSA, but it's definitely on our list for the future.

  4. No offense, Cat but I don't want your crazy dog!
    I'll look into that Jess, I had only heard of a farm in Loveland I was going to look into.

  5. I think you could come to the Keys and see our reef! Ya know and meet me IRL. I guess I can cross "live on a tropical island" off my list, but I don't remember putting it ON my list.