Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Question For You

My inlaws have offered to take my children for a week or so. I'm reluctant to be away from them but as my therapy progresses I'm finding it may be necessary. If I have nothing to do I fear I'll fall into deeper depression without my girls here. So I'm wondering, what the hell would you do, at your house, with no children and no work?

10 comments:

  1. I would spend the first day on a cleaning spree, since I would know it would stay that way all week... and then be as lazy as humanly possible. Stay in bed until 10am, have lazy (quiet, uninterrupted) coffees on the deck, plan nothing and make no dates so that I could just go about my days quietly and without agenda.

    Ahhh, that sounds like heaven to me with summer vacation fast approaching.

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  2. If I were in a similar position, I might fall into a deeper depression from the isolation and lack of distraction. If you need time to process without the kids, then you might think of making arrangements to have a family member or friend keep you company. Or, find a therapy situation that would provide a supportive presence.

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  3. I would find the time to think about "me". I know the children are what keep you going. I have been there, done that! My kids are what got me through when my hubby was struggling so much. I have just gone through a spell of the absolute worst feelings EVER. I have never been so low in all my life and thinking about hurting myself was VERY VERY scary to me, but I'm sure it's not even the tip of the iceburg compared to what you are experiencing. My Dr. started me on SSRI's about 3 weeks ago and I am feeling WONDERFUL...we'll see how long that lasts! Anyway, It may be a good idea to let the girls have some time away, and let you have some "me" time. Maybe JT can stay with you a few days and you can have some ST & JT time alone too. In my opinion it would be refreshing for all involved. I wish you the best and hope you can make the best of whatever your decision may be.

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  4. Lady, I think you should take them up on it. Plan some activities that will get you out of the house in healthy ways. Have folks hold you accountable for getting out and about if you have to, but take the time to get healthier because you will be doing it FOR your family's health and well-being, too. I know you are keeping a lot of this from your girls because you are an AWESOME mom, but they can probably feel some of your struggle, and you would be doing the best thing for them by taking some time to feel better. Do it, lady!

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  5. I think those are great ideas. I would totally plan it out, a general week plan including all out rest time. Make it a week of positive things that relax, bring peace and a safe space to think. A Sarah retreat - even involving getting out into nature. And time alone with the guy! Having Jedd and others keep you accountable would probably help. (J helps make sure I don't just spend low days in the dark, in bed ;) Love you.

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  6. I think I would go OUT places. Places I normally don't go because it's too exhausting to drag the kids, or to deal with the whining once we get there. Museums. Shops where I could read books and try on clothes and really BROWSE. Sitting on a bench in the park in the sunshine with a book.

    Well, that's what I'd intend to do, and then I'd end up lying around reading, and then playing solitaire on the computer.

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  7. Find the things that you love, and remind yourself of all the great things in the world.

    Go for a hike, get some nature for a few hours, catch a great sunset, get drenched in a thunderstorm... Stop and soak it all in. While you're out there alone, run, sing, dance, skip, be silly -- do something that reinforces just being alive. Stop and look at flowers, bugs, anything, everything. Bring a notebook and maybe a camera. Write something down so you remember (if it sucks and you don't enjoy it, at least you'll remember not to do that again next time!)

    The other thing is to create something. Whatever you love to do, work on it. Use the time, even if it isn't for something significant, or a major project. In the evenings, get inspired for the next day. If you love crafts, dig around on etsy for ideas. Write poetry, short stories, personal introspection, blog posts. You've got an audience on here... Write posts each night, even if you don't make them public. Find some inspiration and latch onto it.

    You have time to yourself which is one of the most precious things anyone can have. Don't let it drift by. At the end of the week, when life returns to 'normal', you may feel that it was all wasted if you haven't achieved anything.

    Also, make sure you enjoy getting some real sleep, uninterrupted by kids. We'll all be jealous. :)

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  8. Thanks everyone! Great ideas and encouragement. I'll keep you posted.

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  9. When the week or so is over, where would you like to be with yourself? It could be easy to fill the week with activities, but will those activities help you? It might be a good idea to set some goals for the week to keep you focused on moving forward toward whatever you define as your goal. If it's just to rest and sleep in, then that's easy. If it's more complicated, then more planning might be helpful. Once you know what you'd like to accomplish, it'll be easier to match activities to the goals. I do feel that not going it alone is best for what I imagine may be ahead for you. Just an after thought...

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  10. I am planning some therapeutic activities with my counselor. I'll do a post on them soon.

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